If you are from the Northern states and plan on visiting or moving to the South there are a few things you should know to help you adapt to the differences in lifestyles:

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle House.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names, the South has double first names.

The North has Ted Kennedy, the South has Jesse Helms.

The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

The North has green salads, theSouth has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, theSouth has crawdads.

 The North has the rust belt, theSouth has the Bible belt.

In the South:

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic, four men in a 4x4 pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly, don't try to help them, stay out of their way! This is what they live for.

It's also called a wreck, not an accident.

Don't be suprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all Y'all" is plural, and "all Y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing.."You ain't from round here are Y'all".

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't worry about not understanding what people are saying, they can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to attach to a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big'ol", as in "Big'ol truck" or "Big'ol Boy". Most Northerners begin their Southern- influenced dialect this way, all will deny it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school, is no longer proper.

Be forewarned, the term "He needed Killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southener exclaim, "Hey, Y'all watch this!", you should stay out of the way as these are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is a prediction of the slightest chance of snow, you are required to make your presence at the local grocery store, regardless if you need anything or not, you just have to go there.

Do not be alarmed to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their Mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

The expression "Hey" is the common greeting, It can mean anything from hello to That's mighty nice truck ya got there.  

Remember: If you do settle in the South and bear children do not assume they will be accepted as Southeners. After all if the cat had kitens in the oven we wouldn't call em biscuits. 

It has been a pleasure to live here with my family and enjoy the little slower pace, so if you choose to vacation or settle here I reckon your life might just turn into a country music song 'fore ya know it.